Female loneliness — why are there so many single women?
Despite the fact that female loneliness can cause a lot of gossip, an increasing number of women are in no hurry to find a provider and protector in the person of a man. And the point is not only that many modern ladies are capable of “killing a mammoth” on their own, the main reasons lie in the mixing of gender roles and changes in society.
Psychology of a lonely woman
The loneliness of a woman for many centuries was considered proof of a certain “defectiveness” of a lady; old maids, for example, were always under a hail of ridicule. Currently, an unmarried woman is not surprising. Psychologists believe that the desire for loneliness is a signal indicating the presence of reasons that prevent a woman from starting a family. Over time, some of these reasons cease to have an impact, and the lady ceases to avoid men. Sometimes a woman gets so used to being alone that she cannot get rid of loneliness.
Psychological origins of female loneliness:
- overestimated or underestimated self-esteem — “I am beautiful, only a prince is worthy of me”, “I am ugly, no one needs me”;
- upbringing in the spirit of feminization — “I must be strong, I can do everything myself, I don’t need a man”;
- obsession with motherhood — «A child must have the best father», «A child is the most important person for a woman.»
Causes of female loneliness
To understand why there are so many single women, one should study the causes of loneliness. Among the more common psychologists are the following:
- self-sufficiency This is the most common reason for being single. Such a woman has no need to prove something to others — she is respected for her success and independence.
- Excessive requirements for a man — a factor that screens out all candidates, and often leads to female loneliness.
- Negative experience — often women strive for loneliness and are afraid of new relationships due to the fact that in the past they suffered through the fault of men. Sometimes a girl observes a bad experience in the family of her parents.
- Unfree lover — Another factor that causes female loneliness. In this case, a woman in love simply does not consider other candidates.
- Unwillingness and unwillingness to start a family — such women strive to receive a lot of pleasure from life, the responsibility for the family does not attract them much, as well as male bachelors.
Pros and cons of single women
A single independent woman sees a lot of advantages in her position: she feels successful, free, beautiful, admirable. Behind this attractive picture, despair, a feeling of own uselessness can be hidden. And even ladies who are quite happy in their loneliness can sometimes feel a lack of warmth and closeness of a loved one.
Pros of being single
The answer to the question why women choose loneliness is given by sociologists. In their opinion, it is now much easier for women to live alone than in a family. In this case, the lady has much fewer responsibilities and worries, she has time to look after her appearance and take care of her health, engage in self-improvement, travel and have fun. Some of these factors testify to the infantilism of a woman. Very often, a lady who does not want to start a family consciously chooses partners with whom marriage is impossible, for example, married ones.
Why is loneliness dangerous for a woman?
A woman gets used to loneliness and ceases to need any relationship — this is the main danger of this situation. In addition, having become accustomed to independence, a lady may lose her communication skills with the opposite sex. In this case, even if she wants to lose her independence, a woman will not be able to build relationships, create a strong family.
Difficulties for a single woman may arise:
- in case of a breakdown that requires male hands — then she will have to call a “husband for an hour” or ask a colleague or relative for a favor;
- in the company of married couples — if all the friends and girlfriends of a single lady have families, she will be less and less invited to spend time together;
- with a high need for sex — with a temporary partner it is difficult to count on regular sex, and even more so — at the moment when you really want it, and not when there is an opportunity.
How to live a single woman?
The question of what to do for a single woman can only arise in a person deprived of imagination. She does not need to report to anyone, loneliness in this case is equal to freedom. Of course, without significant financial resources, many entertainments for a lady will not be available. However, female loneliness offers many perspectives for:
- creating your own business;
- tourist trips;
- doing sports;
- communication with friends;
- hobby activities;
- building a career.
Successful women are often single, but if this factor is associated with determination and self-confidence, such ladies always know what they want from life. Energy that could be directed to a man or children, in this case is spent on something else. Among talented and endowed with high intelligence people there are a lot of lonely people who have found happiness in their personal lives. Women who have chosen loneliness:
- Sophie Germain — mathematician, mechanic, philosopher, proved the «First case» of Fermat’s theorem.
- Sofia Kovalevskaya is a mathematician, writer, worked as a professor at the Department of Mathematics at Stockholm University.
- Barbara McClintock — geneticist, discovered the movement of genes, Nobel laureate.
- Camille Claudel — sculptor, student of Auguste Rodin.
- Grace Murray Hopper is a mathematician, programmer, thanks to her the first programming language COBOL appeared.
How can a woman get rid of loneliness?
A lady who has been living a free life for many years may one day realize that she lacks a caring and loving person, a sense of need, peace and security, which is possible only next to a reliable and understanding partner. Then the moment may come when the question arises sharply — how to deal with loneliness for a woman. To get rid of loneliness, you need:
- find out the reasons for loneliness — a psychologist, a friend can help with this;
- change your attitude towards yourself — stop focusing on imaginary and real advantages and disadvantages, just love yourself;
- take a close look at the surrounding men — perhaps very close is a man who will end female loneliness.
Female loneliness — an Orthodox view
Female loneliness in Orthodoxy is condemned or causes sympathy. Orthodox priests are of the opinion that a woman cannot and should be alone, and she can fulfill her destiny — to become a wife and mother — only next to a reliable person. It is not for nothing that it has long been accepted that an Orthodox priest must be married — the church extols the value of the family very highly.
single female celebrities
There is a widespread stereotype that fame and wealth are happiness, but talent and popularity often choose loneliness as companions. And even with a mass of admirers and husbands, these great single women often felt miserable and useless:
- Gia Maria Carangi — supermodel of the 70s, who died of AIDS.
- Marilyn Monroe An actress who died from an overdose of sleeping pills.
- Maria Callas — the singer, beloved of Aristotle Onassis, died at the age of 53 all alone.
Many famous beauties of the actress still prefer loneliness:
- Charlize Theron — She was married twice, but chose loneliness.
- Catherine Deneuve — was unhappy in a single marriage, out of wedlock gave birth to two children.
- Sharon Stone — dreamed of a family, but after two short marriages she chose to raise adopted children.
- Susan Sarandon — a long marriage with Tim Robins ended in a break, after which the actress went on a «free flight».
Films about female loneliness
Films about single women that will be of interest to a wide range of viewers:
- Red Desert / Il Deserto Rosso (1964). The film tells about the spiritual torment of the main character Juliana, who, although married, feels lonely.
- Three colors: Blue / Trois Couleurs: Bleu (1993). After the death of her relatives, the emotionally devastated heroine remains in deep seclusion. But the music brings her back to life.
- Hours / The Hours (2002). The lives of three heroines from different eras are connected by one book — the novel by Virginia Woolf «Mrs. Dalloway».
- Malena / Malena (2000). A film about a woman whose beauty has become a real curse.