How to forgive the betrayal of a loved one

In a situation of adultery, those who have experienced betrayal most often turn to a psychologist for help. And, as a rule, women apply. Men tend to try to cope with the betrayal of the second half on their own, often with the help of available “improvised” means, such as alcohol. Of course, this is always the wrong way to restore peace of mind.

Change is always a crisis. It is often accompanied by intrapersonal conflict. What to do next in this situation? To forgive or not to forgive? Or maybe you need to avenge a broken relationship? These and similar questions often arise against the backdrop of raging emotions.

Those who are trying to find the appropriate answers for themselves are often unable to cope with this task themselves. The pain of betrayal narrows the ability to soberly assess the situation, plan your further behavior in relation to the betraying partner.

The Big Question: To Forgive or Not To Forgive treason? How you answer this question for yourself often depends on the conditions in which your personality was formed in childhood. Recall those situations from childhood when you yourself had to feel guilty for pranks or more serious misconduct. If your parents forgave you, it meant that you were accepted as you are, with all your weaknesses and shortcomings.

But in a situation of betrayal, it is the deceived person who is faced with the need to forgive the guilt of another. But what about the indelible resentment, the fear of being alone, the lack of past warm relationships in the family? Moreover, doubts often come into conflict about whether it is worth continuing to keep the family together.

Alas, there are no universal recipes for how to build a future life and relationships after infidelity. And a person who finds himself in such a difficult life situation will have to make responsible decisions on his own. Including, you will have to take responsibility for these decisions yourself.

The most general recommendations concern only ways to respond in the acute phase of the situation. First of all, you need to come to a more even state, remove unnecessary emotions. Try to figure out why the situation with treason has been brought down to you from above. Could something in your own behavior have provoked it? Critically evaluate yourself and your behavior in the conflict.

Find an opportunity to speak up. It is not so important who will become the listener — a professional psychologist, mother or close friend. You need to speak out loud how you feel about the cheating situation. In most cases, such a reaction of emotions allows you to remove the severity of emotions and remove the inevitable consequences of harmful stress.

The main rule is to beware of immediately making quick, hasty and emotional decisions. Unfortunately, the consequences of not fully considered actions are not always easy to correct.