How to learn to restrain yourself
04.07.2023 0 комментариев
How to learn to restrain yourself
Anger, aggression, irritability, rage — these feelings are familiar to everyone. Everyone sooner or later experienced these negative emotions, but only the behavior of people is not the same: some behave with restraint and dignity, others violently, furiously and ugly (they are not shy about harsh statements, screams, abuse and curses). Intemperance spoils career, family life, relationships, undermines the nervous system. In the meantime, it is quite possible to learn to restrain negative emotions, to show calmness and restraint.
Try not to look for someone to blame. No one can bring us to rage and anger, except ourselves. More precisely, we allow ourselves to be brought to this state. Be above this, do not transfer responsibility to others, learn to answer for your actions yourself. This is the only way you can change anything in your life. Shouting “it’s my own fault” will only aggravate the situation. Don’t let yourself be manipulated like a puppet.
Seek to anticipate a problem that could provoke a fit of rage. Analyze the circumstances under which you most often explode, and try to avoid them. Learn to avoid sharp corners. If a tense situation is calculated in advance, you can model your behavior in advance, surprising others with your insight and worthy restraint.
When anger and irritation build up, take a deep breath and start speaking in a tone quieter and more measured (slowly). Do not explain to the interlocutor what and why he is wrong in this situation, do not stigmatize or label him, but try to clearly express your attitude to what is happening. Calmly (and as evenly as possible) breathing, let your opponent shout. When he fizzles out, it will be easier for you to explain something.
You should not justify your intemperance and ardor with the notorious phrase «hot blood flows in my veins.» To flare up, to give vent to anger or to hold back — each person decides for himself, and blood has nothing to do with it. Such a character trait as restraint and equanimity is brought up (including independently).
Learn more about self-regulation techniques. The use of these techniques not only helps to relieve irritation, extinguish outbursts of anger, but also helps to find harmony with oneself and with the outside world. We are talking about yoga, Pilates, breathing exercises, oriental practices, etc.
On the path to overcoming anger, do not forget to analyze your behavior every day. Play the situations that happened mentally, draw conclusions for yourself, reflect on how you acted and reacted then, and how you would act now, when the nervous system is normal and you are not nervous. You can write down your thoughts in a personal diary — transferred to paper, they are perceived and realized more clearly. Over time, you will notice that in your pursuit of restraint and equanimity, your correct reactions become reflexive.
Doctors and psychologists say that excessive containment of emotions is harmful just like their violent outburst. Frequent suppression of anger breeds an increase in irritation, which over time can lead to a nervous breakdown, heart attack, or emotional outburst. Sometimes you can show feelings, but without noise and screams. Do not look for a scapegoat, you risk being the same in a similar situation.
With increased irritability, refuse at least for a while from watching TV shows about disasters and military operations, crime chronicles, drama series, etc.