You wake up at night, eat poorly, mope and smoke a lot. Then all this is replaced by real euphoria and wild joy. Your mother follows you with an anxious look, afraid to ask about the reason for such moods. Yes, she understands everything. She, too, was young. You are in love and possibly without reciprocity. Unrequited love. Such love is experienced by 70-80% of the younger generation. This is what has affected you.
The reason for poor appetite and sleep is that you cannot understand in any way whether he wants to be with you or not. You often visit the same company, study at the same faculty, you have mutual friends, and you have already hinted to him a hundred times that he is very nice to you. But so far nothing has happened.
You are tormented by doubts, conjectures. You catch his glances, gestures. Every word of his is like a precious gift to you. You are looking for some hidden meaning in all his actions and deeds, expressing sympathy for you. Today you are in seventh place from happiness — he called you to the student canteen. Yes, he likes you, he looked at you like that and smiled. And tomorrow you will die of his indifference.
Understanding that a guy does not want to be with you is very simple. After all, if he wanted to be with you, he would have told you about it a long time ago.
The problem is different. Often we do not want to believe our eyes and our ears. We refuse to completely understand things that are absolutely understandable to everyone around us, such as the indifference of our chosen one. And there is always only one reason for this — strong love and the desire to be loved. When you love deeply and dream about relationships, you are not able to understand that you can not be loved. Love makes people dumber.
And even if you understand with the remnants of your loving mind that they don’t want you, you will still hope for a miracle, agonize and worry. And only doctor-time and a new hobby will heal your broken heart and get you out of this state.
Françoise Sagan writes about this beautifully in the story «A Vague Smile».
Don’t be fooled, your heart is already broken.