Open relationship — what is it and is it worth agreeing to them?
Free relationship between a man and a woman or people of the same sex is becoming commonplace. Social networks, dating sites make it easier to find a partner for a relationship without obligations, the desire for high career growth does not leave time for a serious relationship — these are the trends of modern realities.
What does «open relationship» mean?
Free relationship — psychology defines this phenomenon as the mutual desire of two people to build their relationship without any obligations to each other. This is an honest relationship, in which everything is “transparent” and understandable, which excludes claims, jealousy and the desire to own a partner completely. In many countries where the family structure of society dominates and such traditions are preserved, open relationships are condemned and condemned.
Free relationships in the family
Free relationships in marriage are not so rare for modern society. A civil marriage is not registered and rests solely on trust between partners, nothing prevents the partner from turning around and leaving at any time, he is not bound by any obligations. It also happens that after several years of civil marriage, the couple decides to register their relationship officially, and it doesn’t even take a year for them to get divorced. Such a paradox. A sense of freedom cemented such an alliance, and its transfer to official status led to destruction.
Should I agree to an open relationship?
How to understand an open relationship and is it worth plunging into them? This is everyone’s personal choice. It is worth considering, evaluating the advantages and disadvantages of a relationship without obligations, and if this is what the “doctor ordered” at the moment, why not? It is important to make a commitment to yourself not to build illusions, then you can get pleasure and new experience from an open relationship.
Open relationship — pros and cons
Free relationships without obligations, like any other social phenomenon, have their positive and negative aspects. Advantages of an open relationship:
- freedom — every man for himself;
- there is no closure (dependence) on each other, provided that both partners are equally self-sufficient and they are satisfied with such relationships;
- No one owes nothing to nobody;
- both partners may have other relationships;
- lack of claims to each other.
The disadvantages of a relationship without obligations stem from the above pluses and the following nuances:
- open relationships are built on the sexual component (attraction, passion), we are not talking about love here;
- condemnation of relatives, friends, society — such relationships are more often condemned;
- sometimes the attraction of one partner develops into love, without reciprocity, and the gap turns out to be painful for the loving side.
Open relationship for women
Why does a guy want an open relationship and even becoming a mature man does not strive for solidity and responsibility, which is the key to a serious relationship. In part, this explains the theory of polygamy — a man strives to have several partners, it is in his nature. For a woman, relationships can be interesting and attractive at the beginning, when feelings are not yet defined, there is only a physiological attraction. Unlike men, a woman is rather a monogamous being, and it is important for her to feel protected, which an open relationship cannot give in full.
How to turn an open relationship into a serious one?
A man offers an open relationship in several cases:
- he is not ready for a serious relationship;
- recently went through a divorce;
- belongs to the category of Lovelace;
- his work takes a significant amount of time and there is no time for a solid relationship;
- he is a loner and not made for close relationships.
In all these cases, it will be difficult to direct an open relationship in the right direction, rarely when the transition occurs naturally, you need to try very hard and efforts should not be intrusive. Tips from psychologists on how to take relationships to a new, more serious level:
- bring a partner to a conversation, talk about your feelings for him, while not deciding for him, not manipulating;
- give him time to make a decision;
- if a frank conversation did not help, it is important to find out the reasons why a man wants to leave everything as it is, to listen to his arguments;
- start to change and stop focusing on the expectations of a man, deal with your mental trauma, low self-esteem — a self-sufficient woman is very interesting for a man, you don’t want to lose this one, because he grows and develops with her.
How do you say you don’t want an open relationship?
The situation is common when girls ask a question on psychological or women’s forums: «The guy offered an open relationship, I really like it, but I want more.» What to do in this case? To be honest about this at the very beginning, without creating illusions that with the help of sex you can bind a partner to yourself. There is someone in the world who has the same values.
How to put an end to an open relationship?
The breakup of free relationships at the initiative of a woman is a frequent occurrence, men are satisfied with such relationships. A woman sometimes agrees to be with a man on his terms, hoping that she can “tame” him, that he will become dependent on her, but this does not happen, she is disappointed and there is nothing left to do but let the man go. How to break such a hopeless free relationship, recommendations:
- allow yourself some period to suffer;
- avoid any contact: do not answer phone calls, messages, do not meet;
- set priorities for yourself, see the importance of building harmonious relationships in a couple, where partners value each other and are ready to create a full-fledged family;
- If the relationship has become addictive and difficult to end, you should seek help from a psychologist.
How to find a partner for an open relationship?
Dating for free relationships are very popular among people of all ages. Finding the right partner is not difficult. The «Club of Free Relationships» and similar dating sites can be easily found on the Internet. Numerous sites, groups in popular social networks are replete with such offers to choose a partner or partner for meetings.
Movies about open relationships
Values are changing in the modern world, and if earlier marriage was an important component of harmonious relations between a man and a woman, today this is not a priority, young people strive for relationships without obligations, and married partners also strive for freedom. «Free Relations» — a film by German director M. Herling about friends who are friends with families. Everyday life and routine leave their mark on the relationship and the husbands decide to spice it up — to exchange wives. What will come of it, you can find out by watching this comedy.
Other films about free, no obligation relationships:
- «Friends with Benefits«. Jamie, the main character is dumped by a boyfriend, not for the first time, but Dylan, the second main character, is also dumped by a girlfriend because of his workaholism. Both decide that a serious relationship is not for them. Dylan flies to New York to get a job at a major publishing house, and at the airport he meets Jamie, a staff member of this publishing house, a friendship is born between them, attraction gradually arises. Jamie agrees to sex, and an open relationship without any obligations, Dylan supports her in this.
- «Novelty / Newness«. Acquaintance through the Internet, which is replete with sites and applications for choosing a partner — getting to know each other has become easier and more prosaic. Everything is very simple: they met, slept with each other and parted without any claims, special efforts in the form of courtship are not required for this. Gaby and Martin met through the app and decided to spend the night together without expecting to continue, but something hooked them in each other.
- «More Than Sex / No Strings Attached«. Adam and Emma met 15 years ago, but their relationship did not happen at that time. Adam flutters from one bed to another, and one day accidentally sending messages with a desire to spend time to all his girlfriends sends such a message to Emma. They meet and plunge into a free sexual relationship based only on physiology. They do not entertain illusions and believe that they only need sex from each other. Is it so?