Distrust in relationships
“We tend to believe those we don’t know, because they never deceived us,” these words were once said by the English critic and poet Samuel Johnson. What a true but sad statement!
Distrust of men arises for various reasons:
- as a result of bad experiences (including your parents, girlfriends and acquaintances). Even a small lie in the future gives rise to great mistrust;
- as a result of a strong passion that knocks a person out of his usual rut. Feelings are tense, you place all your secret dreams and desires on a person, mentally endowing him with those qualities that are not in him. Disappointment in one breeds distrust in the rest;
- due to the nature of their upbringing. If as a child you were brought up with suspicion and initial aggression towards the world around you, then it is not surprising that, when faced with disappointment, you take it for granted, as part of our world. Distrust of her husband, most likely, will also be initially.
Think about it: all of the above reasons, one way or another, come down to one thing — you do not trust yourself and the world around you.
How to get rid of distrust?
Love and distrust can live in your heart for a very short time. It’s like putting a python and a guinea pig in the same terrarium. Sooner or later the python will swallow the animal. But is it necessary to keep a python in your heart, even if it is not necessary to feed it (after all, distrust breeds distrust).
- learn to trust. Everything. Distrust (in relationships and in life in general) will not save you. By not trusting your husband, you automatically put limits on that feeling that could be unlimited — love. Try to convey to your mind that distrust is useless;
- learn to love yourself. You deserve the very best. Including — and life without distrust;
- tell the truth. Do not be afraid to show your feelings, because misunderstanding often leads to distrust;
- Don’t idealize other people, let them be who they are.
- try to find the roots of your distrust. Replay in your mind the experience of your life and the life of your parents. Find a sore point and … accept betrayal or disappointment. As a fact. It was, the past cannot be changed. You can only change your attitude to this fact. Forgive everyone involved. Sometimes this requires the help of a professional.
And remember: distrust in a relationship is not a vaccine against possible disappointments. Let yourself love to the fullest!