Legends have long circulated about female friendship, jokes have been written, and even scientific articles have been written. Its existence has been proven and refuted many times. Whether there is female friendship is definitely very difficult to say, but we will try to get closer to the truth, weighing all the pros and cons.
The fact that every girl from childhood strives to find exactly a girlfriend can be easily explained. It happened historically, for reasons beyond our control. From generation to generation, from mother to daughter, information is transmitted that women are in many ways similar to each other, and that it is easier for them to find a common language. Remember with whom you played with dolls, mother-daughters as a child? with whom did you sit on neighboring pots in kindergarten? with whom did you share your first romantic experiences? Well, of course, with friends! Who, no matter how a friend, will listen to your sobs on the phone, give advice and regret. What can I say, a woman understands a woman perfectly, which cannot be said about men. It is very difficult for them to understand what is jokingly called «female logic». The reason is that women and men were separated from an early age. As they say, «boys — to the right, girls — to the left.» That’s how it happened.
Of course, the existence of female friendship is not the ultimate truth. Those who insist that female friendship does not exist also have their evidence. And this evidence is very convincing. It is said that women’s friendship exists until a man appears on its way. Yes, girl friends grow up, put dolls aside and … fall in love. This is natural (even inevitable) and does not seem to hurt friendship. But if the same man becomes the object of adoration of two girls, you have to make a choice. And then the friendship of the girls is called into question. Everyone wants to be the first in everything and always the only one, and losing the championship means losing, which we girls really don’t like.
The fact that female friendship does not exist is proved by the thirst for rivalry, which is very developed in the weaker sex. Friendship between women can be built not only on sympathy, but also on personal gain, which very often comes to the fore in relationships. You may not even realize that your best friend is using you. For example, as long as you help her in her career growth, serve as a faithful vest for tears and complaints, nothing threatens friendship. But as soon as the goal of your grief — a friend is achieved, you become uninteresting to her. Do not forget that a woman is in many ways similar to a cat — she prefers to walk on her own.
On the other hand, the fact that female friendship is not a myth confirms its opposition to male friendship. Just women and men speak different languages. The first are emotional, and the second are rational, pragmatic. This often prevents them from finding a common language. And, as mentioned above, a woman will understand a woman without words.
How to keep friendship with a friend?
There are examples of true female friendship, when friends do not need anything from each other, except for warm communication, understanding and sympathy. But if in your case it happened quite the opposite, then you should not despair and categorically deny the existence of friendship in general. First of all, you need to analyze the current situation and think carefully about how to maintain friendship with a friend, while not all is lost. Maybe you are mistaken in her infidelity.
Let’s see what most often causes girlfriends to quarrel, and what are the ways of reconciliation?
- If you began to notice that a friend is offended by something and avoids you, then first of all you need to think about your behavior. Sometimes even one poorly chosen word can seriously offend a person. If you remember what could have caused a quarrel, immediately talk to your friend, ask her for forgiveness. She will understand and forgive you, but she may need some time for this.
- The cause of the quarrel may be a man. Did you «catch» your girlfriend in the company of your boyfriend? Do not panic, immediately break off relations with them. It may turn out that they met to discuss your upcoming birthday, ask for advice about a gift, or arrange a surprise. And you’ve already come up with God knows what. To understand such a situation, you need to talk heart to heart, express your suspicions openly, and then everything will certainly fall into place.
- If you (or your girlfriend) did not keep your word and accidentally revealed to someone the secret of a girlfriend, which only you can know about, don’t hide it or just break off the relationship. You must admit that you did wrong and ask for forgiveness. Sincerely promise your friend that this will not happen again, tell her that you value your relationship very much. It’s always nice to hear such words. If your friendship is strong and real, then everything will settle down.
Very often, the cause of a quarrel between friends becomes some trifle, not worth attention at all. The main thing is not to let the differences grow. Do not be afraid to take the first step towards reconciliation, otherwise you will suddenly pass by true friendship, not recognizing it behind stereotypes and other people’s opinions.