How to deal with stepdaughter

Let the child know that you are not going to come between him and his parent. You naturally want to spend time alone with your spouse, give your partner and his daughter some time for two.

Find an activity that you could do alone, without a spouse. If you are a woman, it will be easy, if you are a man, then maybe you will go to the pool together, go skiing or teach her how to shoot? Find something that is interesting for a girl and what a man can teach her. If your stepdaughter is not interested in anything like that, then maybe you will take her to ballroom dancing or to a tutor. Talk to her about what worries her. Support her self-esteem, do not interrupt, do not criticize, show how important her opinion is to you.

Don’t start playing the role of «teacher» from the very beginning. A stamp in your passport does not give you such rights yet. Expect respect for your opinions and your requests by showing that you respect the child’s feelings, requests, and opinions. Do not involve your spouse in your disputes with stepdaughter, try to cope yourself. If she deliberately insults you, restrain yourself, do not demand from your partner to immediately punish the girl. Do not challenge in front of the child, the pedagogical decisions of the spouse that are not correct, from your point of view. Discuss this later.

Assign some family responsibilities to the child — help prepare dinner or set the table, check the availability of food in the refrigerator. Something that all three of you need as a family and that will be her “responsibility area”. Involve her in some important decisions for your family. Ask how she thinks where you go on vacation together? What wallpaper to buy in the bedroom?

If your stepdaughter is still a small child, just play with her more. Collect puzzles, draw princesses, compose songs. The game is a universal way to get closer to the child.