How to get rid of envy

Stop comparing yourself to others. Someone’s special luck and superiority are nothing more than false formulas invented by you. Do not count the pros and cons of yourself and others. By doing this, you always run the risk of discovering that someone is the owner of more pluses, and you will begin to complex, show envy, and with it — indecision or, on the contrary, anger. If there is no comparison, there will be no envy.

If it’s impossible not to compare yourself with others, try to look at these comparisons from a slightly different angle. For example, you are jealous of a neighbor who has much more money than you. Think about what is more important to you — a lot of money or the opportunity to spend a lot of time with children. Or: a rich gentleman of a friend, or a loving and reliable husband. According to psychologists, the formula «but I have …» helps a lot. That is — compare in your favor.

Learn to use envy as an indicator. To do this, try to analyze your feelings impartially and as objectively as possible — to whom and what you most often envy. This way you will figure out what you are missing in your life and start striving to get it. There is only one condition: receiving not in order to get ahead, overtake, but with the understanding that you really need it, that your life will become richer and brighter from this.

Put yourself in the shoes of the people you envy. It is likely that their life is not as perfect as you imagine. And it may very well be that they do not have what you have. For example, they live in a luxurious cottage, but there is no respect and understanding between relatives, and you huddle in a cramped apartment, but you have a friendly and strong family. Who is more fortunate? Ask yourself this question and ask yourself if you want to be in the place of the one you envy?

Try to communicate less with those and be in the presence of someone you envy. It happens like this: by and large, everything in your life suits you, but as soon as you visit the house of a distant relative and even have a nice chat with her, attacks of envy begin — oh, she bought a new headset! ah, her children now have a governess, etc. Minimize communication with those in whose presence you experience an inferiority complex.

Help your loved one yourself, this will make his fight against envy more effective. It is very difficult to overcome this on your own, but the support of loved ones literally works wonders. After all, this feeling arises in the process of communicating with other people. Therefore, it is easier to treat it not to the person himself, but to people who are not indifferent to him. Talk to him about his feelings and the reasons for them.

Envy is associated with a person’s low self-esteem. It can fall either because of the increased criticality of others, or because of the objectively low achievements of a person. Of course, you can’t silence all critics at once. However, it is in your power to work on improving the self-image of your loved one. If you are not an expert in the area that causes his difficulties, then just think logically. Say that if a person were completely incapable, then he would not get this or that job. That is, approach from a general position if you are not able to appreciate your loved one, but are sure that the problem is that they are very critical of him.

If you clearly see that the problem is in his achievements, help him improve them. Buy him literature in his specialty and say that while you are preparing dinner, he can, for example, read his books for an hour, and then retell them to you. Justify this by saying that you are very interested in his work. If he learns to express everything perfectly, this quality will be very useful to him during promotion. After all, his competitors probably do not have such a daily practice.

Switch a loved one from thoughts about envy to reflect on the area in which he is doing particularly well. One does not work out — but the other turns out great, so, in any case, there are more advantages than disadvantages. This you must repeat long and hard. And the oppressive feeling will loosen its vise.