How to live with a husband if there is no mutual understanding?
Marriage is a union of two hearts, which is ideally based on love, mutual understanding and mutual respect. However, life is multifaceted and often surprises. There are no ideal marriages, all people argue, quarrel, and sometimes we hear a sad phrase: «We do not understand each other with my husband.» A man and a woman who have entered into an alliance may have different dreams, interests and outlooks on life. Quarrels and misunderstandings are a problem for many couples, especially young families who have not yet learned how to adequately overcome life’s difficulties and find compromises. Often couples do not know what to do if there is no mutual understanding in the family.
Hushing up the problem
Often, not wanting to quarrel, women hush up problems, turn a blind eye to them, thinking that they will resolve themselves, choosing the safest thing — silence. Women are beginning to think more and more about how to live with a husband if there is no mutual understanding. These thoughts, resentments and misunderstanding accumulate and begin to be expressed in irritation and discontent. The husband feels changes in the relationship and also begins to get nervous, but he does not know and does not guess how he offended his wife and what is the reason for the changes.
Sooner or later, such quiet days end in a quarrel. And it’s not always possible for a couple to even understand how it all began, because a whole carload of mutual claims and grievances has accumulated. The main reason for this phenomenon is the lack of communication in marriage. Men often do not pay attention to women’s chatter and do not always understand hints, they love straightforwardness and often do not even know about existing grievances. The wife torments herself with thoughts: “Why doesn’t my husband understand me?” As a result of accumulated feelings and resentments, a woman is often unable to formulate her claims without accusations, and sometimes even insults. Therefore, the basis of good relationships is the ability to communicate.
What to do if there is no mutual understanding with your husband?
Communication between spouses should ideally be based on mutual understanding and mutual respect in order to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings and disputes. It can be difficult for people to correctly convey their emotional state, to curb excessive emotions. As a result, emotional disputes arise, often developing into quarrels. Word for word — and the quarrel can no longer be stopped, an ordinary conversation develops into a stream of mutual accusations, and sometimes even insults. After such conflicts, women do not know how to find mutual understanding with their husband.
To minimize such situations, it is worth learning to control your emotions, and it is advisable to start a conversation based on the following principles:
- try to avoid judgments and harsh criticism;
- the conversation should be calm, without insults and ridicule;
- do not dominate — we agree,
- We do not offend and we are not offended, we are looking for constructive.
How to reach mutual understanding with your husband?
It is desirable to talk about your needs without harshly criticizing your spouse. If we are talking about time spent with friends, then it is worth discussing some events in advance and agreeing. For example, if a husband or wife is against frequent meetings with friends, you can agree that you will meet with them, for example, in a cafe or beauty salon on Saturdays. It is even better to arrange joint family parties so that the spouse can see for themselves that there is nothing wrong with gatherings with friends.
Solution of problems
When we talk about possible solutions to problems that arise in spouses, we must first of all be open to a partner. But don’t be too quick to compromise. Many conflicts end because one side decides to drop its claims. This may lead to quarrels in the future, because the problem not eliminated, and sooner or later we will have to return to negotiations.
To avoid such a situation, it is necessary to clearly define which aspects of family life are fundamental, and it will be difficult to refuse them. Of course, in defining the range of these important principles, it is advisable to exercise restraint and choose the most important ones — those that are necessary for your happiness. For some, this may be: the inadmissibility of treason, assault, regular parties with friends, alcohol, etc. Only the most important and the most important! Otherwise, marriage is a compromise.
Of course, not all problems are easy to solve, in this process it is desirable to be persistent and patient.