How to start a conversation

To start a conversation, choose people who are open to conversation. In fact, a lot of people don’t mind talking to strangers at all. It’s pretty easy to find them out. Alan Pease and Alan Garner, authors of The Language of Conversation, advise paying attention to non-verbal gestures and postures. If a person sits in a relaxed position, smiles and looks at you longer than usual, you can quite calmly start communicating with him, since he has already shown his interest in you.

Your first words should not be too serious and clever. It is best to ask a question regarding the situation around you and the interlocutor, or make a general remark. Try to maintain a positive attitude with the first phrase and demonstrate your good disposition. Phrases that carry some kind of negativity have no chance of becoming the beginning of a good conversation.

When you are about to strike up a conversation, think about how you can start communication in a non-standard way using the following topics:

• General situation

• Your interlocutor

• You yourself

The best and most promising option is to engage the interlocutor in a conversation about the general situation in which you are. Look around and find something interesting or unusual to start a conversation, and turning to the interlocutor, make your comment about this. If you start with questions or remarks about your counterpart’s personality, there is a chance that he will not want to continue the conversation. He may not be in the right mood to talk about himself or share his experiences. Although most people, on the contrary, like to talk about themselves. They are usually grateful for the opportunity to talk about themselves and answer questions about themselves. Starting communication by talking about yourself is the most unfortunate option of all possible. It shows your interest only in your «I», even if this is not the case in reality.
The main thing is to be brave and do not think that starting a conversation with strangers is beyond your strength. After all, Eastern wisdom says that even the longest path begins with the first step.