Sometimes, after many years of married life, you want to spice things up a bit. That’s when the idea arises of arousing jealousy in a partner. In this case, it can really help and revive the relationship between the spouses. But it is a completely different matter when jealousy is permanent, it can spoil even the most tender feelings. From the point of view of psychology, jealousy is a lack of trust in a partner, fear and self-doubt. But there is not always a reason for such feelings, cases of unfounded suspicions of treason are not so rare, in this case, psychology considers jealousy from the point of view of shifting responsibility for the situation onto the shoulders of a partner, projecting its complexes and fears onto him. Some experts tend to believe that the emotions that a jealous person experiences are a reflection of his internal disharmony and complexes, and the image of an opponent or rival is his own ideal «I», which has not yet been approached.

Male and female jealousy

It’s no secret that men and women feel differently. Therefore, in psychology, male and female jealousy has different roots and manifestations.

Men often try to have maximum power over a woman, limiting her social circle and her freedom in order to remove potential rivals. Then anything can cause this feeling — bright makeup, bold clothes, meeting with friends without his presence. Those men who are confident in themselves and know how to trust their partner will be jealous only if they see the frank coquetry of the second half with other men. Among creative people, you can also meet indifferent men who will be jealous only when they find out about the fact of an accomplished betrayal.

Women are jealous for other reasons, most often this feeling arises from envy. Considering that her chosen one pays less attention to her, the woman loses her sense of security and tries to return it by any means. Thus, female jealousy is often an attempt to attract the attention of her man. Of course, you should not discount the jealousy that arose as a result of betrayal.

Psychology — how to get rid of jealousy?

A lot of books have been written on the topic of jealousy, both fiction, like Othello, and scientific, like The Psychology of Jealousy. (Friedman). Fiction shows us how dangerous this emotion can be, and books on psychology tell us how to get rid of jealousy. The main thing to do is to understand the cause of the emotion, and based on this data, take the necessary steps. Often it is not possible to cope with the problem on your own, then the help of a specialist is necessary, since it is he who can notice all the nuances and reveal the real causes of jealousy. There is also the possibility of pathological jealousy, which most often has no real reason. In this case, professional help is essential.