How does jealousy affect relationships?
What is jealousy? Why do some people know how to control this feeling, while others, falling under its influence, destroy everything around, destroying ties and relationships. On the one hand, the manifestation of jealousy is quite natural: we do not agree with someone to share a loved one. At the same time, do not forget that an uncontrolled feeling can deeply hurt and kill love. What is the psychology of jealousy? What, according to psychologists, drives people who are jealous very often and, mostly, for no reason?
Jealousy can be divided into groundless and justified, that is, one that can be explained, and its manifestations lend themselves to common sense.
The psychology of baseless jealousy
You can connect your life with a person who is constantly jealous only under the influence of very strong feelings. Such relationships often do not stand the test of time and fall apart.
Groundless jealousy, as a rule, is shown by people with low self-esteem. In most cases, it occurs due to its own inferiority. Self-doubt causes inner discomfort, destroys the soul. A person is constantly in a bad mood and, for any reason, breaks down on others, most often on the closest and dearest people.
An underestimation of one’s qualities and oneself as a person leads to the fact that, even with an attractive appearance, an excellent figure and good mental inclinations, a person spends most of his life on sorting out relationships. Checking the phone of a loved one, studying the biography of all employees and acquaintances, hacking email and social network passwords … What a person does not resort to, feeling helpless and afraid.
Is it possible to change the situation and return the beauty of love?
Most psychologists are inclined to believe that in the fight against baseless jealousy it is difficult to emerge victorious. It is almost impossible to re-educate a jealous person, to change the psychology of relationships and the behavior of a man. A guy can bring his life partner to a state of complete apathy, she will stop taking care of herself, follow fashion trends and try to be in the company of men as little as possible. In this case, the woman hopes that her chosen one will stop being jealous if she looks like a “gray mouse”. In her understanding, the main thing for a man is the beauty and grooming of the fair sex. But, most likely, the woman’s efforts will not be crowned with success: the husband will still be jealous. Such is his psychology.
There are cases when a desperate girl really goes for treason. She gets tired of proving her honesty and devotion, hearing constant reproaches and insults, and recalls the folk wisdom that says: «If you are accused of something that you did not do for a long time, be sure to do it.» Moreover, constant reproaches and discontent can trample and kill even the strongest love.
Justified jealousy in a relationship between a man and a woman
Jealousy can be adequate, that is, the behavior of the jealous person lends itself to common sense. According to psychologists, such a condition can be caused by provocative actions on the part of a loved one. For example, a woman consciously attracts the attention of surrounding men. She openly flirts, talks on frank topics, makes new acquaintances. In other words, in a society of men, she feels like a free girl. In such cases, any man will be jealous. If he does not feel jealousy, then most likely his feelings have nothing to do with love, and the psychology of the couple’s relationship is based on ordinary affection or habit.
The main feature of such jealousy can be considered that the woman herself provokes the state of a loved one. That is, it is the initiator of relationships with other members of the opposite sex.
Sometimes innate charm, beauty and charm do not allow a lady to go unnoticed. Surrounding men shower her with compliments, at every opportunity they try to start a conversation with her, invite her on a date. If a woman responds to all flirting with a polite refusal, then there is no fault on her. Charisma is not given to everyone, and by learning how to manage it correctly, you can achieve a lot. The main thing is to understand which man is worthy of being your companion, and for which one you are another “victim”.
Relationship psychology: what does cheating lead to?
According to psychologists, people cannot be divided into jealous and not jealous. The main criteria in this case are trust and indifference. They play a decisive role in the relationship between a man and a woman.
The union of loving people rests on trust. This is the basis of any relationship, the greatest value in a couple. Complete trust in your chosen one, and self-confidence will not allow a man to feel and show jealousy. Of course, trust must be earned and remembered that a single act can trample on feelings and injure the soul of a loved one, who will let the power of betrayal pass through himself.
For a loving and trusting man, betrayal is comparable to death. We are talking about moral death, after which, as a rule, love ends and is replaced by a feeling of hatred. Over time, hatred will develop into indifference, and even with a strong desire of a woman to return everything back, she is unlikely to succeed. The psychology of relationships is changing: a man’s heart turns into an “ice” and the former beloved’s requests for forgiveness remain unheeded.
Relationships often don’t end overnight. A person goes through several stages: trust and love, betrayal, shock, jealousy, anger, indifference.
Unconditionally trusting loved ones, at first we try not to believe in betrayal. And only after making sure that there really was a betrayal, we will experience a shock, it seems that life has ended. Burning jealousy penetrates every cell: it brings suffering and pain. If the relationship does not end after the betrayal, and the person finds the strength to forgive, distrust still remains. No wonder they say: “I can forgive you, but it’s unlikely to hug you.” Relations no longer seem harmonious, a feeling of inexplicable, inadequate jealousy often wakes up in the heart. And then comes burning fatigue, replaced by indifference.
It turns out that jealousy is not subject to people who fully trust, or those who no longer experience deep and pure feelings for their partner.
Let’s be faithful to those we love and who love us. One thoughtless act can destroy what you have been building for years. Appreciate the people you love!