How to forget a grudge
06.07.2023 0 комментариев
How to forget a grudge
Psychologists say that resentment is aggression directed primarily at oneself. After all, being offended, we agree with what the offender accuses us of. And, therefore, we offend ourselves. This is if we are not talking about the manipulation of the offended offender by the guilt of the offender. As you know, the life of the soul and the life of the body are closely related. That is why the psychosomatic manifestations of long-standing and numerous grievances, as an extreme degree of dislike for oneself, are cancerous diseases. And, therefore, accumulating resentment in oneself is deadly.
You can offend a person only if he wants to be offended. Increase your self-esteem, learn to love and accept yourself for who you are. God said: «Love your neighbor as yourself» — which means that the measure of love for the world, people for each person is his love for himself. And this is by no means selfishness, but a means of survival, because sooner or later those who offend themselves with dislike end up in the chemotherapy department.
A good way to get rid of resentment is to analyze all the circumstances of the offense. Just using it, do not forget for a second that you were offended by an outsider, a stranger who cannot read your thoughts, emotions, anticipate many of your reactions, and in general — somehow get into your shoes. Therefore, be impartial. Take a piece of paper, write the name of the offender. Then, point by point, list what his fault is. Take your time, and consistently guide yourself through all your emotions associated with this person himself, your offense, your feelings, all the circumstances in which the offense was inflicted. If you do this exercise conscientiously, the relief will be as if you have dropped a heavy burden from your shoulders.
If you cannot get rid of resentment, do the following exercise several times. Close your eyes and vividly imagine the offender and the circumstances in which you were offended. Imagine it as brightly as possible — at the level of olfactory, visual, tactile, sound sensations. How far away (your eyes are closed) is your resentment from you? If it were depicted in front of you on the screen, in what part of this screen would it be localized? Now try to remember some insignificant, boring, insignificant circumstance of your life. Something everyday — something that you don’t attach any importance to. Also place it on an imaginary screen in front of you. Evaluate your feelings, emotions, sensations in connection with this circumstance, its position on the inner screen, the distance between you. Now mentally move the picture that depicts your resentment to where the image of your chosen routine and insignificant everyday circumstance is located. Superimpose your emotions, sensations from a boring «everyday life» on your resentment. Open your eyes and look at three points in space in front of you. Repeat this exercise as many times as necessary for the resentment to completely disappear. Usually three to five times is enough.
Most people would rather live their whole life unhappy than admit they were wrong once.
If you are a believer, be sure to go to church and pray for your offender. Light a candle for his good health and see how resentment will cease to corrode your soul.