How to learn to forgive people?
We are surrounded by different people. Communication with some of them brings joy and positive emotions, while relationships with others do not cause any response in our soul. But there are also such individuals with whom it is very difficult to contact, they strive to offend, insult, hurt the living.
We forget some grievances easily: they do not leave a trace in our soul. But there are often cases when resentment creeps deep into the heart, and a person experiences corrosive emotions for the offender: anger, hatred and a keen desire for revenge. Most importantly, he leaves no room for forgiveness. The psychology of an offended person is explained by the phrase: by forgiving, I will show that I can be treated in this way.
Why think so clearly? There is a deep meaning in forgiveness, and if you understand it, then life will immediately sparkle with new colors, and your soul will become easy and calm.
Human psychology: the meaning of forgiveness
By forgiving, a person immediately becomes happier. This statement may seem implausible, but it is true. Constantly scrolling through the memory of thoughts about the offense caused and not letting go of the offender from the heart, we cannot fully rejoice, notice the beauty of life, and feel lightness. The situation changes dramatically after forgiveness. All negative thoughts go away: there is a desire to live and create, new ideas are born and the strength to translate them into reality.
Do not think that being able to forgive means looking at life through rose-colored glasses and not noticing the unfair treatment of others around you. With this skill, you will show people your best sides: willpower, self-confidence. The psychology of a strong person allows him to rise above reality and be condescending to the weaknesses of other people. Forgiveness sincerely means no longer remembering the offense, drawing certain conclusions, becoming smarter, and in the future trying to avoid such an attitude. All the people we meet in our life path are teachers. This means that any communication is an experience, and an opportunity to reassess values.
Self-Behavior: The Link Between Forgiveness and Health
Even in childhood, our parents urged us to learn from the mistakes of others, but, unfortunately, not everyone succeeds in listening and following such advice. Experience is gained with age, thanks to the situations and people that fate throws at us.
Without learning to forgive, we run the risk of carrying the burden of past grievances, hatred and pain all our lives, which, ultimately, will damage our health. It turns out that physical problems will also be added to mental discomfort. First of all, they are expressed in a feeling of constant depression and lethargy. A person can bring himself to a stressful state, depression, nervous exhaustion.
There is an opinion that suffering and anger provoke the occurrence of diseases of the gastrointestinal tract and problems with the cardiovascular system. The picture is disappointing, and if you still listen to the opinion of psychologists that thoughts are material, and like is attracted to like, then life runs the risk of turning into a solid black streak.
There is only one way out: to help yourself by mastering simple forgiveness techniques.
Secrets of psychology: how to forgive the offender?
First of all, you need to understand that all people are different, everyone has their own views, worldview. We have advantages and disadvantages: there are no ideal people. Everyone has their own path, some trials and lessons are sent to everyone. It’s not only you who feel bad: others also suffer from injustice and resentment in the same way.
You can even look at the situation from the other side, that this experience was needed not by you, but by the offender. In the end, each of us strives to become a whole person, to achieve success and prosperity. We choose ways to achieve the desired, based on experience and knowledge. Perhaps the person who betrayed or offended you lacked just that.
Forgive him and release with love. It is love that gives strength, and makes people free and happy.
Often a person, by virtue of his psychology, does not understand that he is hurting others, not knowing what he is doing. Maybe he does not have the ability to control his feelings and emotions, by nature he is weak and weak-willed. This option will help if pity helps you look at the person differently. Have pity on the offender, because one day he may have to be in your place and answer for his actions.
Nothing in our life happens by accident. No wonder they say that everything comes back like a boomerang. Any act committed in relation to another person will definitely come back. Accepting this fact allows you not only to forgive the offender, but also to be more critical of yourself. Indeed, often we do not notice our own shortcomings and do not even assume that our behavior is not always ideal. Such is human psychology.
Forgiveness means helping yourself
In cases where forgiveness is too difficult, try to do it for yourself, and not for the benefit of the person who offended you. The main argument should be that it is you who will have to suffer, and negative emotions will corrode your soul.
It may not be fair, but the person who upset you most likely immediately forgot about what happened, feels great and enjoys life. In such cases, you will never be asked for forgiveness, and the offender will not be tormented by remorse, since he does not even know about your grievances. It turns out that only you suffer.
No one claims that forgiveness is easy. The psychology of a person is arranged in such a way that in order to heal, he often has to go a long way, which can be strewn with doubts and impulses to go back. In this case, again allow yourself to indulge in thoughts of revenge.
The main thing is to learn to perceive any act of others as one of the lessons of fate, and be sure to draw the right conclusions. We do not have to forgive at all — but it is this difficult step that can make us truly happy. Do not hope that the heavy grievances that have settled deep in your heart can be forgotten in an instant: the stronger the insult, the more often and longer we remember about it and scroll through every moment of what happened in our head. Such is human psychology.
The process of forgiveness can take a lot of time, but remember that all your efforts will be rewarded, and further relationships with others and with yourself will bring only joy and positive!
General psychology / Maklakov A.G. — 2008
Communication as a subject of interdisciplinary study / Bodalev A.A. // Psychological journal — 2009 — T. 30 No. 2