How to start a family
How to start a family
Sad but true: about 70% of young families break up within the first two years of marriage. Why is this happening? Can this be avoided? After all, divorce is a big psychological trauma, especially if a baby has already appeared in the family. In fact, it is necessary to think about the preservation of relationships, about the strength of family ties long before its creation. Ideally, this should be taught at school, and loving parents are obliged to prepare children for family life, so that later there will be no bitter disappointments. And for this you do not need to read long lectures, or study psychological works. Just before starting a family, you need to pay attention to two simple, one might even say obvious things.
- It would be quite reasonable to find out if the couple can live together at all? In most cases, before the legal registration of marriage, the bride and groom live separately, and only after the wedding it turns out that the young spouse is used to throwing socks, underwear and cigarette butts all over the apartment, and the newly-made wife does not know how to cook anything except store dumplings. “It’s the little things,” many will say. Of course, little things, but sometimes it is because of them that young families break up. The ideal option is to live together for some time (but only separately from moms and dads!). Living together gives lovers the opportunity to see each other on an everyday, everyday level, with all the features, habits, advantages and disadvantages — and this is a very valuable experience.
- The second important condition for a strong marriage is financial independence. Of course, parental help is normal, but in a young family that is completely dependent on parents (in terms of housing, money, and whatever), conflicts will arise one way or another that will not benefit her. That is why the creation of a family, and even more so the birth of a child, should optimally occur when young people become completely independent and can realize that marriage is not only love, but also responsibility.
So, love, patience, the ability to make meaningful decisions, the willingness (and opportunity) to take care of not only yourself — these are the necessary conditions in order to create a family: happy and harmonious.