How to stop loving a man
What could be sadder than unrequited love? Is that the situation when this love was once shared with you, and then suddenly stopped. Well, it happens, and you have to learn to live without that man with whose name you wake up, live all day, go to bed, and in a dream he is again.
It is necessary to start «falling out of love» just with the realization that these relationships (if they were) will not return. Simply put, leave the past in the past. This is easy to say and very, very difficult to do. But the most important thing in saving drowning people is the care of drowning people about themselves.
You are just drowning. You don’t go to clubs and parties. You are no longer interested in beauty salons and sales. You meet with your girlfriends only to talk about him again and again. You stopped caring about your appearance after he left your life. Or vice versa, if by the nature of your activity you continue to see him, you carefully think over your appearance, makeup, even posture and gestures, and begin to behave inappropriately as soon as he enters the same room with you. You are sitting at work or in class, letters, words, people flash in front of you, but you don’t notice them at all, they annoy you because they distract you from the most important thing in the world — pitying yourself for your beloved and remembering the happy moments spent with him . Everything else is in the background. Is not it?
Stop! Your life is now in the background. Understand it. You have put on 3D glasses and do not want to return from virtuality to your own life. Are you ready to miss it? Ready to wake up at 50 years old and be surprised: «Oh, how long I slept …» No? Then there is only one way out — to overcome an unnecessary feeling in yourself.
After realizing that it is still necessary to part with this phantom feeling, the question arises of how to do it. Start with the main thing — forbid yourself to think about it. Does not work? Try to find the negative in it. Divide the sheet in half. In the left half, write whatever you like about it. And to the right everything that is not. Can’t find a negative? Carry a piece of paper with you in your bag and remember. As soon as you remember, immediately write it down. Listens to the group «Beasts». Don’t brush your teeth before bed. Didn’t give you flowers… Great, you’re on the right track. … Went in stale shirts. Generally in shirts in a rhombus?! Lick your fingers? He wore family shorts. Smoked cheap cigarettes? Right in bed?
This way, little by little, you will be able to extract from memory all those negative little things that, of course, are inherent in the object of your suffering. Just behind the severity of suffering and the depth of your bright feeling, you forgot all these annoying little things.
When the list of minuses equalizes and begins to overtake the pluses in the left half of the leaflet, a toggle switch will work in your brain, which will transfer your loved one from the category of «celestials» to «ordinary people», and maybe you will even think about the topic: «I deserve better.»
Stop listening to songs that remind you of him. Take his stuff to the trash or return it to him. Rearrange the furniture in the house if you lived together. Make the space around you different from what it was during the period of your relationship. Think back to the music you loved before. Go to «your» restaurant with a friend or work buddy. Debunk this personal Mecca of yours. This is an ordinary restaurant where many people go, and not just the stronghold of your past happiness. This is an ordinary song. It was played on the radio before your novel and will be played after. She has nothing to do with you. And cleaning the house with throwing out his things and dusting will make room in your life for something new. And breathing becomes easier.
Be sure to go to the hairdresser. If you have long hair, cut ten centimeters. If not, change your haircut. Change color. Be sure to change your head. Hair contains our memories and negativity. All sadness and memory not only settled in your soul and brain, but also «tangled in your hair», and therefore get rid of them. How nice it is to shake your hair after a fresh haircut! As if reborn. Well, or, in any case, rejuvenated a lot.
Diversify your life. Read. Go to theaters. To the cinema. To concerts. Drink tea with friends. Go in for sports. So what if they never did it? At some point you have to start. If you are bored just going to the fitness center, dancing is a great way out. And useful, and beautiful, and very emotional. What dances? Yes, any! Though belly dance, even tango, even street dance, the main thing is to move and smile! What? Yourself, your instructor, your body, even your first awkward movements, your reflection in the mirror! Necessarily.
And further. Read at least one book by Larisa Renard. It will help to understand why men leave for other women, what they are looking for, what they value, and most importantly, how to be and what to pay attention to when building relationships with a man.
They say you can’t command your heart. So it is. But it would be foolish to flush your life down the toilet because someone didn’t appreciate you. Didn’t love or didn’t give you what you expected. Thousands of women have wasted their lives on ethereal dreams and suffering. Do you want to be one of them? No.
Attention, only TODAY!