Alcoholism, drug addiction, smoking … It would seem that we know everything about the most common bad habits that destroy our body, but we don’t think much about the fact that there are the most bad habits that destroy us as a person, reduce self-esteem and overall quality of life, making us feel unhappy. Which?

condemnation

We don’t think much about how often we judge other people, but in fact we do it all the time. Having seemingly started with a “discussion” of some problem, we very quickly slide into a “condemnation” of it and the people associated with it. Meanwhile, this is one of the habits in behavior that repels people. After all, everyone understands that if in his presence someone condemns another, then he can easily become the same subject of condemnation when he leaves the company of those gathered. Psychologists believe that by judging other people, we harm not only them, but also ourselves, depriving ourselves of the ability to experience gratitude, undermining our own self-esteem, happiness and well-being.

Trying to judge for yourself

They say that “people are not judged by themselves”, but it is their own views, worldview and moral standards, laid down from childhood, that are involuntarily used to evaluate what is happening, to label people as good, bad, unpunctual, unscrupulous, etc. But the other person is not our mirror image. He feels, thinks and acts completely differently. People do not have to meet our expectations, because often their actions can be dictated by completely different motives, not the way we imagined them. It is better each time, instead of growing irritation in the soul, to try to justify a person, understand him, accept him, and then, perhaps, forgive him.

Resentment

They say, “you can’t offend a person, he can be offended himself.” And indeed, life has proven this more than once, when in the same situation some people harbored a grudge, while others smiled and moved on. But resentment is the biggest wound we inflict on ourselves. To the offender, what, he can immediately forget about what happened, and we will gnaw at ourselves, corrode from the inside, not sleep at night, and then think about how to eliminate depression due to resentment? Some psychologists advise using resentment as an opportunity for personal growth. Have you been pointed out to the flaws of the figure? So it’s time to head to the gym. They say you’re bad at cooking? Buy an online course from the best chef in Russia. But the highest gift you can give yourself is to forgive the offender.

Excessive requirements

Why are we unhappy? In the age of electronic technology and the era of consumption, we all, in any case, most of us strive for excellence. If the university has a son, then the most prestigious. If it’s a job, then it’s the highest paid. The best TV from this line, car, house, cottage, etc. Popular thinking “either all or nothing”, even with minor failures, plunges into the abyss of despondency and depression. We do not give ourselves the opportunity to relax and just live. We are always chasing something, and when we achieve a goal, we set a new one, and so on in a circle. But high standards and depriving ourselves of the right to make mistakes leads to a trap into which we drive ourselves. Give yourself a gift — release yourself from the «prison».