What kind of girlfriends to be wary of: the reverse side of female friendship
Female friendship is a topic that can be argued endlessly. Someone is sure that it does not exist and gives convincing examples from their lives. It seems to someone that good friendship happens, but it is very difficult to maintain it throughout life. People lose interest in communication for various reasons: their interests change, place of residence, envy of the happiness of a friend.
It is quite difficult to catch the moment of cooling — women can disguise their anger under sugary complacency for years. If you do not respond in time and blindly believe your friend, you can destroy your own life and lose your family.
Good friendship — what is it?
Strong female friendship is rare. In order for ordinary communication to grow into friendship, wisdom, patience will be required, girls must take care of each other. It is achieved through sincerity, support and mutual assistance.
A faithful friend empathizes, she is always ready to help, listen, support. She will not leave you in trouble. Such friendship is quite rare, so it should be treated as a great value.
But things don’t always go so smoothly. Sometimes it is the very person whom we consider a friend that brings discord into our lives. We tell her our secrets, consult, trust. We become vulnerable to her, because she knows almost everything about us. Therefore, it is important to know what kind of girlfriends are, and who should be feared.
Energy vampire friend
This girl gives the impression of an unhappy and helpless person. She can’t solve simple problems like sorting out the bills for the apartment or choosing a new dress. She complains of longing and loneliness, trying to attract all your attention to herself — this is her psychology. A friend asks for help all the time, she does not like it when you refuse to meet her.
Such friendship «in one gate» can turn against you. Soon you will become an “attachment” to a friend, afraid to refuse her help. And your spouse will begin to associate you with a helpless and constantly dissatisfied girlfriend — this will lead to irritation and quarrels.
She always comes to the rescue and seems ready to put her life at your feet. Such a friend never asks for anything in return, she provides services disinterestedly. She helps you with the housework, does the main work for you, plays with the children. Over time, it becomes a real lifesaver.
Such female friendship is dangerous because a friend is so firmly entrenched in your everyday life that you won’t be able to “kick her out”. It is important for her to feel needed, irreplaceable, so she will conquer new areas of your life. You will begin to notice that you can no longer be alone with your husband, relax. Another option is also possible — the spouse will appreciate the indispensability of a friend and fall in love with her. Women’s friendship should not interfere with family life.
Psychology of a friend-adviser
She always has a lot of advice for any occasion. She knows how to do it right, monitors your moral character, criticizes and discusses the behavior of your spouse. She is trying to “open your eyes” to the harsh truth of life, she exudes negativity.
This situation develops, as a rule, when a friend does not have a stable personal life. Your torments and doubts bring satisfaction to her — she asserts herself at your expense.
Female friendship: how to uncover deception? Advice from psychologists
In order for female friendship to bring you only positive emotions, you need to see the danger in time. If you are worried about the behavior of a friend, do not rush to justify her. Better pay attention to the alarm bells.
Your friendship is at risk if your girlfriend constantly tries to humiliate you, both in private and in front of people. «Injections» are made with a sweet face and a velvety voice: the dress does not suit you, the tummy has grown, the children are not behaving ideally. It is necessary to immediately outline the framework and stop such attacks.
Another dangerous symptom is when a friend tries to turn you against your spouse. She can do this unobtrusively, but persistently: let the first call, do not put up with him. A friend gives endless advice on what to do and what not to do. The purpose of all recommendations is to distance you and your husband from each other.
A good friendship never hurts a personal relationship. A real friend will show tact and understanding, will not win your attention by all means. If her persistence goes beyond the limits, and she is trying to «penetrate into your territory», you should be wary.
It is unlikely that the friendship was strong if you notice a friend’s interest in her lover. A true friend will never cross that line. You should not continue communication when a friend looks invitingly at your husband, tries to enter into a dialogue with him or tries to be alone. Do not tempt fate — trust your spouse and stop believing in a good friendship with a potential homemaker.
Shattered friendship: is it worth saving?
How to behave if a friend could not pass the test of time? The advice of doctors in the field of psychology boils down to the fact that you need to forgive her. If you don’t let go of the situation, it will destroy you from within. You will no longer be able to trust people, opening up emotional wounds and cherishing internal grievances.
Try to understand your ex-girlfriend — she is unhappy and lonely. Talk heart to heart with her — that’s all you can do for her now. Perhaps you will find the right words, and she will understand how ugly she acted. There are times when, after a sincere conversation, a good friendship reaches a new level if the friends do not want to lose each other.
Even if you have already been disappointed in people, and the friendship turned out to be fake, you should not withdraw into yourself. Just stick to the main rules.
Never put a friend above your husband. If your family is dear to you, your husband should always come first. Properly set priorities are the key to harmony.
Another important rule is always have your own point of view. No need to blindly follow all the advice that a friend gives out. Her opinion, goals and dreams may be completely different from yours.