Women’s business: how to combine career and family
We often hear: “Family and children interfere with career and self-realization. You have to make a choice in favor of yourself or your family.” It’s a delusion! However, the cult of success and the pursuit of material wealth can indeed create great internal discomfort. On the one hand, I want to prove myself at work, achieve ambitious goals, on the other hand, not to lose communication and mutual understanding in the family. This is especially true for women who create a business. They most often experience a strong sense of guilt for the fact that their attention is directed to external activities, and not to the arrangement of life and the upbringing of children.. We have to resort to the help of nannies and grandmothers, who take on most of the maternal care.
psychotherapist, creator of women’s clothing brand
There are two situations when a woman is in business. The first is that she is forced to think about the material well-being of the family due to circumstances: for example, she is raising children alone, or there is not enough money in the family for all goals and desires. The second option is when a woman feels her destiny in this and gets great pleasure from work, even despite the difficulties that she has to overcome in business.
Despite the apparent similarity, there is a wide gap between these two situations. The first woman drove herself into a state of survival: she does not have an internal resource and energy replenishment in the form of joy from the activity itself. And even material wealth in this case may not bring happiness, because no amount of money can cover inner fatigue and discontent. Because of her sense of guilt in front of the children will only grow. While the woman from the second example does what she loves and gets not only moral satisfaction from it, but also good money. Therefore, in the first case, it is worth reconsidering your views and values on well-being — sometimes a calm and well-rested mother and wife can be much happier than any “successful” one.
It is also important to consider the atmosphere in which a woman goes to work. If the state of “war” in business only tempers a man, then it de-energizes a woman. And when children see their mother exhausted and irritated, then a negative attitude towards work and life ripens inside them. If mom goes to a place where she gets only frustration and bad health, then what’s the point? For a child, there is no obvious connection that their expensive toys and standard of living are achieved at a high cost to the health and nerves of their parents. Therefore, it is important for a woman to honestly answer a few questions for herself before going about her business.
- How important is this to her personally? Not for children, family, parents, but for its self-realization.
- Does she enjoy what she does or intends to do? Does it empower her or destroy her?
- And finally, how much guilt does she feel for having «abandoned» her children?
If all the answers are positive, then you can think about how to combine these two areas in order to be an effective mother and business woman. Indeed, often it is the family that can be a source of motivation and support in self-realization. And business is a way to switch attention from everyday life to creative tasks. And here, as nowhere else, the Pareto principle works better. In our case, it will be 80% of the time family and only 20% — business. Of course, this is a conditional division. We can be 100% immersed in business processes for some days, but then a period should follow exclusively for ourselves and our families. It is important not to forget about this so that burnout, emotional and physical exhaustion does not occur. The mistake of many mothers, wives and business ladies is to try to be a superwoman in all areas at the same time.
It is also important to note that for women who want to combine work and family, it is vital to develop two skills in themselves. The first one is planning. But special: you need to alternate activity with complete relaxation and relaxation.
The second important skill well-organized communication. Namely, asking for help and being able to delegate tasks. Not “all by myself”, but to see in employees and households the very people who will be good and reliable associates both at home and at work. Otherwise, you will have to do double and even triple work.
Women’s business is more about being the creator of a friendly team and a certain idea, around which people gather, united by one goal and emotional involvement.